(Reblogged from olitwist)


escalators are better than elevators because when escalators break they turn into stairs but when elevators break they turn into vertical coffins

(Reblogged from havana-honeymoon)

(Source: listoflifehacks)

(Reblogged from hectichedgehog)


god bless the people who upload tv shows to the internet

(Source: pepsimaxing)

(Reblogged from niphredil)



a kid at hogwarts who just wants to get a proper education but can’t focus because of all of the shit harry potter and his friends keep getting themselves into

Jenna B. Lacey, age eleven, knew exactly what she was going to do with her life.

She was going to go to Hogwarts, get top grades, and be the youngest female Minister of Magic by age 35.

It would have been a good plan, if she hadn’t been in the same year as Harry Potter.

*   *   *   

Year one started out great. She was sorted into Hufflepuff, did well in all her classes, and aced the exams.

A troll smashed its way through the study room she was in on Halloween, but that wasn’t going to deter her. 

*   *   *   

Year two was a disaster. People were getting petrified, and worse—the teachers had to herd them from place to place, which severely cut down on her library time. She had to study in the common room, which meant instead of a nice, quiet atmosphere, she got a soundtrack of nervous Hufflepuffs.

And on top of that, exams were cancelled. It was a disaster.

*   *   *   

Third year, she started to notice a trend.

First the troll, than the petrifications, and now dementor guards and escaped convicts. What did they all have in common? Potter.

After Black broke in and everyone had to spend the night in the Great Hall, interrupting Jenna’s last minute studying for a test the next day, she took to giving Potter angry looks in every class.

He did not notice.

*   *   *   

They announced the Triwizard tournament at dinner the first night of fourth year, and Jenna almost started crying.

Potter was going to take this one over. She just knew it.

And she was right.

Voldemort rose at the end of the year. She honestly didn’t know what she had expected.

*   *   *    

Fifth year brought Umbridge. She joined the DA because she was going to need a better background in defense, but that didn’t mean she was any happier about Potter.

She imagined it was him she was hexing instead of Zachariah Smith.

But, by the end of the year, focus on her studies was impossible. After Dumbledore left, it was complete anarchy.

Potter’s fault. Of course.

*   *   *   

Sixth year she started volunteering in the hospital wing. She needed a backup plan in case Potter fucked it up.

All seemed quiet, until they brought Malfoy in. It was apparently Potter’s fault, which surprised everyone except Jenna.

Later, she was peacefully studying in a little nook on the third floor when some Death Eaters and some other adults started dueling right under her nose.

This was the worst fucking school, honestly.

*   *   *   

They were calling it “The Final Battle.”

Jenna ran through the hall, dodging in and out of the children evacuating, until she saw him. 


He turned, startled. “Um—Jenna, right? We’re sort of busy—”

She grabbed the front of his shirt and hauled him up until he was eye level with her. “If I’m not Minister of Magic by age 35, it is going to be entirely your fault and I’m going to hurt you.”

She dropped him and stormed away, leaving him to whatever he was doing. She had to fight this goddamn war so she could go back to her fucking studying.

*   *   *   

She became Minister of Magic at age 36.

Fucking Potter.

I think I just found the best Harry Potter fanfic

Sorry Jenna but could you maybe try to not be so self involved for one second? Everything is not about you. People fucking died, you don’t get to complain about being minister of magic a year later than you wanted to.

(Source: itsvondell)

(Reblogged from ilsehugsbeatles)
(Reblogged from kanisza)


*tries to act cool by not texting back right away but forgets and never texts back*

(Reblogged from tonyabbot)
(Reblogged from ilsehugsbeatles)
(Reblogged from yodiscrepo)


The only good part of exercising is telling everyone about how you exercised. That’s where the endorphins come from. Being smug.

(Reblogged from edgeoftheinternet)

Watching a street performer and he’s real good so I went to give him money and look if he was googleable
And the sign just said joe robert
And I can’t find him online :(
Why do people have common names?



if it weren’t illegal i would eat cereal for every meal of the day

i have some wonderful news for you

(Reblogged from hectichedgehog)



(Source: booche)

(Reblogged from lidewij)






this is such an important post


"glassy, jarred look"

(Source: 4chanscreencaps)

(Reblogged from assdemon)


Woops, there it is. (x)

(Reblogged from hectichedgehog)